new moon in Aries // hybrid solar eclipse

hermit crab

I begged for the bricks and borrowed the mortar

I scrapped together the confidence to stand beneath a doorway I constructed 

I adorned it beautifully 

meticulously made it my own

and when the last knobs were screwed in, and the rugs were laid out, and the potted plants were placed lovingly in the windows, and the kitchen was stocked, and the bed was made, and the curtains hung, and the candle on the coffee table was lit

my steps got heavy 

with the weight of each dish and every frame  

as if my spine was not a proper interpretation of foundation

but where else could I build it?

my joints ache and I fear I can't hold it all any longer 

as I ponder the need for a stable place to tuck myself away and the magic of being open

open to it all 

life is a scavenger hunt 

uncovering gems just to outgrow them when they get comfortable 

needing to venture out once more only to find the next clue buried in the sand

leads you back to where you started 

and somewhere you've never been 

and sometimes I don’t know what I'm doing it for 

so I take it all off like a uniform at the end of a long day 

and stretch

and I think about what it would be like to assemble wings 

like the birds do 

but carrying a plane seems so much harder than carrying a home